Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
