So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
