nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
