Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
