Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
