I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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