My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
