Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?