then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably