Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

and?

(609): View more from New Jersey

RIP clitoris

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6

Replies (597) Good night (5571) Bad night (102775)
Favorite
(381): View more from

I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(381): I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore. http://tfl.nu/l0iw

Replies (15) Good night (1500) Bad night (3351)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno http://tfl.nu/p79f

Replies (3) Good night (3672) Bad night (819)
Favorite
(856): View more from New Jersey

you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(856): you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb http://tfl.nu/benk

Replies (34) Good night (4359) Bad night (1236)
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly. http://tfl.nu/a3gz

Replies (21) Good night (5976) Bad night (917)
Favorite
(859): View more from Kentucky

Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(859): Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in? http://tfl.nu/azmi

Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (4078)
Favorite
(763): View more from Minnesota

there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(763): there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread. http://tfl.nu/qy40

Replies (35) Good night (2021) Bad night (8812)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter. http://tfl.nu/55jx

Replies (4) Good night (3140) Bad night (1106)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side. http://tfl.nu/rosc

Replies (12) Good night (8019) Bad night (1087)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts. http://tfl.nu/f020

Replies (10) Good night (2103) Bad night (1357)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle. http://tfl.nu/p5r3

Replies (15) Good night (1506) Bad night (2053)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina. http://tfl.nu/fp84

Replies (21) Good night (2034) Bad night (631)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me http://tfl.nu/v2u1

Replies (10) Good night (1059) Bad night (525)
Favorite
(302): View more from Delaware

I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(302): I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/l6mk

Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (369)
Favorite
(+45): View more from Denmark

Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+45): Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad! http://tfl.nu/8427

Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (411)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard