Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
