overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
