I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
