Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's blow job season.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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