I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
