She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
