that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
