I'm really into asian looking animals
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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