I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
