It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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