i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
