Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
