I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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