after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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