How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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