his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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