your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
