I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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