she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
