You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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