No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
