omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
no you cant smoke seaweed
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
