I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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