Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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