totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
