I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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