why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
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I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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