Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
