If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
