our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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