she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
