Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
