I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my phone needs a breathalizer
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
