brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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