I'm drive I can fine osifer
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize