Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
