Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I will be naked everywhere
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
