Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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