her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
