haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
