sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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