We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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