apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
