sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He felt like a one man threesome
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
