The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
