I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
