I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
