So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
