Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
