Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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