I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.