Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making