they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Boobs are out for the taking
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
