He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
