Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
