I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
