Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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