is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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