so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
