We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
