Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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