Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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