you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
