why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
