Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
