summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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