Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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