at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What drink are we having for lunch?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
