is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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