i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
