She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
