discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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