clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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