I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
