i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize