mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
